Johnny Carson Wants Jay Leno's and Conan O'Brien's Time Slots

Zelda Von Hursting, a Hollywood clairvoyant has recently announced that Johnny Carson has been communicating from the grave, and boy is he pissed.  The late host of the Tonight Show is apparently angry at NBC, Jay and Conan for making such a debacle of late night talk shows.

Speaking through Ms. Von Hursting, Carson is quoted, "I spent my entire career building the brand 'The Tonight Show' and now the nutjobs at NBC are making it the laughing stock of late night television.  Jesus H. Christ- why don't they just hire Chevy Chase, for crying out loud."  Carson is referring to the feud between Leno and O'Brien that started when NBC asked Conan to move the start of his show back 30 minutes to accommodate Leno's request.

"Neither of these guys is particularly funny," Carson continued, "and frankly I'm thinking about making a come back from the grave.  I could do a two hour show, taking both slots and get better ratings than these hacks.  Hell, I'll even do it for free.  Heaven is great and all, but I'm bored out of my friggin' skull.  It's been 15 years of listening to Lincoln talk about how he freed the slaves, and Einstein talk about how wrong his theories were, all while listening to John Denver play the harp.  Now I know why they call this eternity."  Carson added.

It was later learned that Carson's medium has been in negotiations with Jeff Zucker, President of NBC to discuss Carson's potential comeback.  Ed McMahon's medium could not be reached for comment.