AIG Executives Threaten To Quit Over Compensation: Americans Cheer

So I’m surfing the Internet in search of solar-powered gopher repeller for my father’s Christmas present when I come across the following headline “Five AIG say may quit over pay”. Five senior executives from AIG threatened to quit if their pay is cut significantly by the U.S. pay czar.


Here I am with a budget of $39.95, looking for an eco-friendly way to rid dad’s vegetable garden of varmints and these worthless, delusional bean smackers are concerned about gold plating their toilet seats.
 

Don’t let the taxpayer-owned door hit you on the way out, you frauds.

AIG was the recipient of $180 billion in taxpayer dollars in 2008 due to the gross mismanagement of the company. Now those responsible for the mismanagement are threatening to quit if they might occassionally have to buy their suits off the rack. These very same incompetent wind bags received over $165 million in bonuses this past March. A mere 400 employees split this bonus pool, some receiving as much as $6.5 million dollars immediately after ruining the largest insurance company in the world.  Yet they want more.  I don't get it.  This sounds like credit default swap logic to me.  

If it wasn’t for the taxpayers $180 billion, these Gilligans would have been out of a job. They are lucky. If they were capable, they would not have driven AIG beyond the brink of disaster. They are incompetent. And now they are threatening to leave if we do not continue to make them wealthier. They are greedy.

Lucky, incompetent and greedy. Sounds like they’ve earned another big payday to me.

Do we really want the same brain trust that ran AIG into the ground at the helm when they are now 80% owned by taxpayers? I say let them quit and replace them with five Magic 8-Balls.  It would be a vast improvement in decision quality.

AIG empty suite: “Magic 8-Ball, should we gamble the company’s future and our shareholder’s money on credit default swaps?”

Magic 8-Ball: “Ask again later”

Later...

AIG empty suite: “Magic 8-Ball, should we gamble the company’s future and our shareholder’s money on credit default swaps?”

Magic 8-Ball: “Are you smoking crack?  Jesus H. Christ.  You don't need to be a Magic 8-Ball to realize that's a stupid idea.  Now put me back in my box you dipshit.”

Disaster averted.

If they do quit, I will gladly hire them and do the exact opposite of everything they tell me to do.  Then I'll retire in about 90 days.