So I was minding my own business on the airport shuttle last week when I couldn't help notice two people debating healthcare. No, not national healthcare but the appropriate use of cotton swabs. Suddenly another bystander who looked like he fell asleep in 1969 and just rolled out of bed to catch the airport shuttle piped up, "Not sure why you even care about proper ear care. We'll all be dead in 2012 anyway." This was attention grabbing. The bus fell silent and 22 thumbs simultaneously came to a screeching halt on their Blackberry keyboards.
Is this guy some sort of terrorist? Great. Hope he's not on my flight. He proceeded, "According to the Mayans, the world is going to end on December 21st, 2012". Thank God. He's not a terrorist, just a whack job. I still hope he's not on my flight.
For the next 0.4 miles he attempted to explain the Mayan calendar to a bus full of people who were attempting to nonchalantly move their valuables out of his reach. Before I could really grasp what he was trying to convey, it was time to depart the vehicle. But I couldn't help wondering what all this nonsense was about, so I Googled.
In a nutshell, the Mayans have a very sophisticated system of calendars unlike our simplistic, singular Gregorian calendar that resets every 365 1/4 days. The Mayans use(d) multiple calenders simultaneously: The Haab, which is based on our solar cycle of 365 days, the Tzolkin which consists of 13 months lasting 20 days each (260 days total), and the Long Count which lasts approximately 5,125 years. I won't bore you with details about how many cycles known as baktuns, katuns and tuns add up to 5,125. Basically, the Long Count consists of five numbers such as 12.19.13.15.12. On December 21st, 2012 the calendar will read 13.0.0.0.0, which is as high as it goes.
So what does that mean exactly? Well to those who wear the proverbial purple Nikes (see Haley's Comet), it means "Two thousand zero zero, party's over, we're out of time. So tonight we're gonna party like it's 1999" to quote the artist formerly known as "The Artist Formerly Known as Prince." Anyone with a book to sell, a basement full of survival gear or over $175,000 in credit card debt is proclaiming that when the Mayan calendar ends, so do we. Right. Like the Mayans had so many things figured out. 10 million of them couldn't even figure out how to ice 500 conquistadors with feminine beards, tights and pointy silver helmets.
Conspiracy theorists are popping up all over with books attempting to link this to science. Theories range from the earth reversing it's polarity due to sun spots, to the "return of Quetzalcoatl (The Mayan god of erectile dysfunction), to the earth passing through the Milky Way's equator causing all sorts of bad things to happen from comets and tsunamis to people paying too much for their mufflers. There is even a movie about the apocalypse due out starring John Cusack in fall of 2009.
Part of the hysteria stems from the fact that this date does coincide with the winter solstice and the fact that Earth actually is passing through the center of the Milky Way. But the truth is that, as smart as the Mayans were, they had no concept of the Milky Way galaxy or it's galactic center. Like most chocolate loving Mesoamericans, Milky Way was a candy bar and it's center was plain old nougat- whatever that is. Mayan Scholars have likened the calendar to an odometer. Once it hits 13.0.0.0.0, it will simply roll over. Other more spiritual folk merely think of this as the beginning of a new age of enlightenment.
So we're more than three years away from this alleged doomsday and the lunatic fringe is already starting to make their case. By December 20th, 2012 they will have worked themselves into a survivalist crescendo selling magic crystals, bottled water, salvation and "I Survived 2012" t-shirts. And when December 22nd, 2012 rolls around you'll be able to buy domain names like Mayan2012.com and 2012survival.org for dirt cheap.
But you know what? Just in case, I think I'm going to start my End of the World to-do list. This won't be exactly like a "bucket list" as a bucket list presumes that you're the only one passing over into the great cornfield in the sky. My End of the World list my be a bit more anarchanistic. In the meantime, here are some 2012 resources where you can learn more about the Mayan culture and protect your family and children from the pending doom for as little as $49.95. More to come as 2012 rapidly approaches.
http://www.2012officialcountdown.com/?hop=gemusli
http://mayancalendar2012.org/
http://www.2012endofdays.org/general/2012-end-of-days.php
http://www.end-of-the-world-2012.com/maya-calendar-2012.html
http://www.amazon.com/2012-Return-Quetzalcoatl-Daniel-Pinchbeck/dp/1585424838
Is this guy some sort of terrorist? Great. Hope he's not on my flight. He proceeded, "According to the Mayans, the world is going to end on December 21st, 2012". Thank God. He's not a terrorist, just a whack job. I still hope he's not on my flight.
For the next 0.4 miles he attempted to explain the Mayan calendar to a bus full of people who were attempting to nonchalantly move their valuables out of his reach. Before I could really grasp what he was trying to convey, it was time to depart the vehicle. But I couldn't help wondering what all this nonsense was about, so I Googled.
In a nutshell, the Mayans have a very sophisticated system of calendars unlike our simplistic, singular Gregorian calendar that resets every 365 1/4 days. The Mayans use(d) multiple calenders simultaneously: The Haab, which is based on our solar cycle of 365 days, the Tzolkin which consists of 13 months lasting 20 days each (260 days total), and the Long Count which lasts approximately 5,125 years. I won't bore you with details about how many cycles known as baktuns, katuns and tuns add up to 5,125. Basically, the Long Count consists of five numbers such as 12.19.13.15.12. On December 21st, 2012 the calendar will read 13.0.0.0.0, which is as high as it goes.
So what does that mean exactly? Well to those who wear the proverbial purple Nikes (see Haley's Comet), it means "Two thousand zero zero, party's over, we're out of time. So tonight we're gonna party like it's 1999" to quote the artist formerly known as "The Artist Formerly Known as Prince." Anyone with a book to sell, a basement full of survival gear or over $175,000 in credit card debt is proclaiming that when the Mayan calendar ends, so do we. Right. Like the Mayans had so many things figured out. 10 million of them couldn't even figure out how to ice 500 conquistadors with feminine beards, tights and pointy silver helmets.
Conspiracy theorists are popping up all over with books attempting to link this to science. Theories range from the earth reversing it's polarity due to sun spots, to the "return of Quetzalcoatl (The Mayan god of erectile dysfunction), to the earth passing through the Milky Way's equator causing all sorts of bad things to happen from comets and tsunamis to people paying too much for their mufflers. There is even a movie about the apocalypse due out starring John Cusack in fall of 2009.
Part of the hysteria stems from the fact that this date does coincide with the winter solstice and the fact that Earth actually is passing through the center of the Milky Way. But the truth is that, as smart as the Mayans were, they had no concept of the Milky Way galaxy or it's galactic center. Like most chocolate loving Mesoamericans, Milky Way was a candy bar and it's center was plain old nougat- whatever that is. Mayan Scholars have likened the calendar to an odometer. Once it hits 13.0.0.0.0, it will simply roll over. Other more spiritual folk merely think of this as the beginning of a new age of enlightenment.
So we're more than three years away from this alleged doomsday and the lunatic fringe is already starting to make their case. By December 20th, 2012 they will have worked themselves into a survivalist crescendo selling magic crystals, bottled water, salvation and "I Survived 2012" t-shirts. And when December 22nd, 2012 rolls around you'll be able to buy domain names like Mayan2012.com and 2012survival.org for dirt cheap.
But you know what? Just in case, I think I'm going to start my End of the World to-do list. This won't be exactly like a "bucket list" as a bucket list presumes that you're the only one passing over into the great cornfield in the sky. My End of the World list my be a bit more anarchanistic. In the meantime, here are some 2012 resources where you can learn more about the Mayan culture and protect your family and children from the pending doom for as little as $49.95. More to come as 2012 rapidly approaches.
http://www.2012officialcountdown.com/?hop=gemusli
http://mayancalendar2012.org/
http://www.2012endofdays.org/general/2012-end-of-days.php
http://www.end-of-the-world-2012.com/maya-calendar-2012.html
http://www.amazon.com/2012-Return-Quetzalcoatl-Daniel-Pinchbeck/dp/1585424838
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