North Korea Starved For Attention

Does North Korea have a crush on Jodi Foster, just like would-be assassin John Hinkley? Or maybe they're feeling neglected because of the abundance of press Michael Jackson's death is getting. Over the past week, they've launched five more missile tests, and two cyber attacks on U.S. and South Korean government web sites. The old "Denial of Service" attacks meant to bring down public web sites. It's the cyber crime equivalent of toilet papering someones house. Sure it's a nuisance, but any idiot with a computer and six months of programing experience can figure out how to launch this type of attack.



I know Kim Jong Il has serious validation issues, but this is getting kind of silly. So who is is secret crush on? Katie Couric? Oprah? The Bachelorette? Surely something is driving this diminutive sociopath to this rambunctious behavior. You know Kim, you're only hurting yourself with these outbursts. Really. I know the faux Iranian election has bumped them up a notch on the Axis of Evil charts, but you don't need to prove to the world that you're still a major tool. We get it. Really.



So what's next Kim? Burning giant effigies of Rambo on national television? Leaking the conclusion of "Lost"? Burning "America Sucks" in a giant cornfield so our satellites can pick up the image when looking for your secret stash of WMD and hairspray?



C'mon, Kim. Pour youself a nice glass of scotch and dial up one of your Albanian hookers and relax. We still hate you. And as soon the whole Jackson children custody issue is settled, we'll start paying attention to you again. Promise.