Jackson Reality Series: Michael Jackson's Body Finally Cold Enough to Cash In

It has been the longest four months of their lives, but it's finally here. The Michael Jackson death paycheck is in the mail. Jermaine, Tito, Marlon and Jackie have announced the launch of their new reality show on A&E beginning on December 13th entitled "The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty". Jackie Jackson? I had no idea there was a Jackie Jackson.

So the first episode airs next month, which means they decided to create the show at least a few months earlier. Which, according to my calculations means they started thinking about creating the show sometime before the ambulance arrived. Way to hold back the grief, fellas.

I can't say I blame them though, really. When he passed, Michael's family inherited more debt than AIG, a few carousels and a chimpanzee graveyard. And you may as well "make hay while the sun shines" because with the cumulative talent of the remaining Jacksons, Janet notwithstanding, the sun won't be shining for a very long time. If ever. Lunar eclipse, lads. Permanent lunar eclipse.

The reality show will focus on preparations for a reunion tour, and them coping with Michael's death. A reunion tour? Really? Without Michael, it's kind of like the Pips going on a reunion tour without Gladys Knight. Whatever. I'm sure they will sell out civic centers and Knights of Columbus halls all across the country.

Also in entertainment news, after Bono contracted the sniffles, the other three members of U2 announced a memorial tour and the release of a dedication album in spring of 2010.