10 days ago I was making light of the subject of Swine Flu while enjoying one of my favorite pastimes- making fun of the iPhone (see post on 11/5). Now it seems that this simple act of insolence has come back to take a nibble out of my posterior. Despite four months of wiping down door knobs, wearing masks on airplanes, holding my breath on elevators, marinating in a hand-sanitizer after meetings, wearing rubber gloves in public restrooms, wearing two pairs of rubber gloves in the state of New Jersey, reporting incidents of nose picking to the Center for Disease Control and kicking in the groin anyone who attempted to come within three feet of me, I have contracted the dreaded Swine Flu. Yes, the very same pandemic ailment that saturates the airwaves to the point of white noise, causing most Americans to roll their eyes and change the channel.
Okay, so maybe I wasn’t quite as paranoid as described but I did take a fair amount of precaution. But I suppose I was at a higher risk than most given that I’m on airplanes and public transportation far more than your average book-making taxidermist. I’ve never had the flu, let alone one named after a farm animal so I always wondered what it was like. I’m wondering no more, my friends.
Given the added dimension of precaution and paranoia, I thought I'd keep a daily journal of my illness and the associated quarantine. After reading this you can decide for yourself if you want to go out and get your own case on H1N1.
The following blog entries are almost entirely based on real events with only a dash of dramatic embellishment. Because let’s face it; who wants to read about some guy sleeping for five days straight? The names of the characters have been changed to protect the innocent. In some cases they’ve been changed twice. More to come.
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