The Swine Flu Chronicles: Day Two

(continued from previous posts)

5:30AM- Why am I up? Lay in bed thinking of donuts.

5:35AM- Back asleep. It's not as though donuts require much thought.

7:15AM- Wake up feeling slightly better. Mrs MacTavish brings me breakfast in bed, while the kids cautiously peek through the door to wish me well. Bagel and apple again as it's the only thing that appeals to me right now. Still feverish and sore, but don't feel nearly as miserable. Stomach still cramping.

8:00AM- Check the HBO guide where it appears that this is the week to feature Bride Wars, Kangaroo Jack, Hackers, Fred Claus and Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants II. I picked the wrong week to get sick. Begin watching Apollo 13 again from the point where I last fell asleep. Fall asleep after they stir the oxygen tanks and all hell breaks loose.

9:30AM- Take a long bath and some more Tamiflu. Sit and stare out of the bedroom window hoping for something exciting to happen like a meteor shower or a live musical to break out. Starting to get strange looks from people passing by. Check e-mail. Nothing at the office has exploded.

10:00AM- Attempt to read, but head hurts too much. Turn on TV and watch news coverage of Sarah Palin's new book, "Going Rogue". Not sure who is more annoying; Palin or the pundits. I feel like I'm about to go rogue.

11:00AM- Feeling feverish and fatigued so I lay in bed staring at the ceiling until lunch.

12:00 Noon- First real meal. Grilled cheese. Mrs. MacTavish makes the perfect grilled cheese. Not too grilled and not too cheesy. Immediately fall asleep after last bite. Strange dreams about changing our standard time measurements. Hours are now only 45 minutes. This bumps us up to 32 hours daily. Now people can stop bitching about there not being enough hours in the day.

3:00PM- Wake up feeling close to normal. Until I stand up too fast. Sit on sitting room couch and read stack of magazines that have been piling up since March. Start to feel sore again, so I take another bath.

4:30PM- Scanning the news channels. Palin is going Rogue on several other channels. No balloon hoaxes today. Plenty of loud-mouthed economists who claim to have this all figured out. Elvis is still dead.

6:00PM- Pizza for dinner served with love by Mrs. MacTavish. After catching up on some magazines, I turn on HBO12 to find Apollo 13 on again. Excellent. Maybe I'll see the ending this time. Fall asleep as they use the moon's gravity to slingshot back around toward earth.

8:00PM- Stomach has not been right today. Headaches have persisted, but not as intense. Joints are feeling better. Still running a slight fever. Say goodnight to kids through the crack in the door. So far, the worst part of the ordeal has been not being able to hug my family. My daughter fell on the stairs and I had to listen helplessly to her cry until her mom was able to get to her.

10:00PM- Just finished some reading and writing. No arithmetic. Apollo 13 is just starting. No way I'll make it to the end. Scan news channels. Hamad Karzai and Sarah Palin plan to release an album together. New recommendations on guidelines for when women should begin to get mammograms. A new task force (comprised of insurance companies?) suggests against routine mammograms for women under 50. The current recommendation is 40. And how do you explain this to those women who were diagnosed in their 40s? Morons.

10:30PM- Temperature almost back to normal. Lights out.